Ro would be the perfect steady for Alex. He would take care of her, and love her for more than her beauty. She knew this, and though she kept going on and on about his fondness for guys when he wasn't with her, that's what the real problem was. He saw through the cocky smiles, the extrovert character to what she was about.
Marriage was an old and tired concept. The last union performed around a century before, about the time the last of the old religions died out. But if it were practiced they definitely would be suitable candidates in my mind. People didn't tie themselves to each other anymore. Why should they? Chances were you'd find somebody who appealed more in a few years. People knew it was best to keep it simple. There were romantics, of course, who feel in love and ran away to other regions to start new lives. Two Disciples had tried that idea three years ago, and had tried to travel to the next region by going Outside. The Clerics had us Disciples visit their graves once a year as a reminder of what happens to the stupid and irresponsible.
"Lex, I can't," I said and stopped walking.
She spun round and frowned. "Can't do what?" Her face smoothed. "Rae, if we don't turn up to class-"
"I know," I cut in and backed away. "You go on. I'm going to go sit in the Library for a while. Cover for me? Say I have a headache and went for some quiet time. I'll deal with the punishment." I didn't wait for her answer, and took off at a run back down the hallway.
Walking into the Library, I gave myself a mental pat. It was empty and blessedly quiet. The library was just a bunch of bookcases pushed against the wall and a few tables and benches arranged in the centre. It smelt musty, but not unpleasant, as if it had been a while since the air was last disturbed.
I settled down on a table with a low lamp and closed my eyes, enjoying the stillness. Here I could be at peace. I drummed my fingers on the tabletop. Then I ran them through my hair and frowned when I encountered tangles. I redid my makeshift hair bun, trembling a little when I fingered the twig and remembered what had happened after I had found it. I scrunched up my face then relaxed it again. Scrunch and relax. Urgh, but my mind was not quiet. It was shrieking at me, throwing back everything from that morning. Closing my eyes did not change the fact I had a vampire in my wardrobe that was going to reanimate in a few hours. My mind lingered on thoughts of Tomas's dark, bottomless eyes and the fact Devlin somehow knew he was in my wardrobe. How did he know? How, how, how? Breathing in deeply did not fix whatever genetic quirk made me a demon. Oh gods, how could I be a demon? Shouldn't I have figured that out by myself? Why did someone have to point out such obvious things for me to finally add it all together to equal demon? As my thoughts touched on Breandan, my body went haywire. My heart sounded to pound and my hands became slick with sweat. Where was he? Would I see him again? In the space of one morning my whole life had been turned upside down, yet the thought of never seeing or touching him again wasunbearable.
I got irritated with myself. I'd come to the Library for a quiet place to think and figure out what I was going to do, not moan about what had already happened. I needed a plan of action. I needed to remain calm, and collected, and work this thing out. I tried to get comfortable on the hard wooden seat, but the feeling of discomfort that had appeared when Breandan left had lingered, and in the last few minutes had changed slightly. The splinter wasn't burrowing under my skin anymore, but had almost, insistent. Like, 'look here I am'.
The door opened. Sounds and smells of the world rushed in, breaking my reflective bubble. I jerked up. In a lifetime of habit, I shied inward and prepared myself to become part of the furniture.
A boy, blazer collar turned up sauntered into the room. White hair flopped down to conceal one of his sparkling eyes. The gods be damned, it was Devlin. Rather than launching into a tirade of accusations like I expected, he said nothing. He simply stared at me like I was the most fascinating thing he'd ever seen. It made me feel like a butterfly, entangled in a web of lies, and waiting for the spider to pounce.
The solid silence was driving me mad. "Hai, Devlin." My voice was strained.
"You don't like me very much," he said.
A few responses played on my lips before I chose, "Direct."
