Communication can be approached in terms of the skills needed to get a hoped-for response. By seeing communication in terms of skills, it is easier to focus on what skills you already have and use. Once you have a reasonably clear picture about this, it is much easier to see where you might want to act to increase your communication strengths and decrease any weaknesses.
It can be useful to try assessing what you see as someone else?s communication skills before you think about your own. It is for this reason that the next two activities ask you to assess the communication skills of Karen and Shehnaz.
Watch the video below. Watch it a few times in order to build up a detailed picture of Karen?s communication skills. This activity focuses on the ways that Karen uses words and language ? her verbal behaviour. Use the checklist that follows to identify four key aspects of Karen?s verbal communication:
Karen
Neil Thompson (1996) has pointed out that these verbal aspects of communication can all give important clues about how people are feeling. So it is not just what people say that counts, it is how people say it too. If someone seems to talk rather quickly, this may be because they are angry or worried. In contrast, if someone speaks slowly this may be because they are tired. Or it may indicate a lack of confidence in what they have to say. It is also possible to interpret why people may use a particular tone of voice. As Thompson (1996, p. 83) points out, tone of voice is ‘an important indicator of emotional state. It gives important messages about how the person is feeling. It indicates a whole range of feelings: anger, sadness, joy …?.
Similar comments may be made about pitch. Thompson suggests that:
Thompson (1996, pp. 83?84)flat, unmodulated pitch can reflect a depressed mood, while high or fluctuating pitch can signal … anger, fear or excitement.
Thompson (1996, p. 84) suggests that quiet speech can indicate a lack of confidence, fear or anxiety whereas loud speech can suggest aggression or a lack of sensitivity. Loud speech may also be used by someone who is fearful or anxious.
Watch the video below. This time your focus needs to be on Shehnaz?s non-verbal behaviour.
Non-verbal communication can occur in many different ways. For example, the way that we dress will result in non-verbal communication occurring. Even objects that we have around us can be the basis of non-verbal messages being sent. How close we are when talking with someone is another important aspect of non-verbal communication, as is the way that touch is used. However, in this activity we would like you to identify the following three aspects of Shehnaz?s non-verbal communication:
Shehnaz
Facial expressions, according to Thompson (1996, p. 95), ‘are very powerful in conveying information?. In particular smiling “can be a highly significant form of communication”. As far as eye contact is concerned, it is important not to have too much eye contact as this can be seen as challenging or threatening. On the other hand, too little eye contact can be interpreted as indicating that someone is not trustworthy. It is important to note that these interpretations can vary from one culture to another. Some cultures see it as being polite to avoid eye contact as far as possible.
We hope that the two activities involving Karen and Shehnaz will have given you a ‘feel? for the sorts of communication skills that are important in helping us to understand what another person communicates to us. This should put us in a better position to communicate with them. Think back to either Activity 15 (which involved Karen) or Activity 16 (which focused on Shehnaz). You can always, if you wish, go back to the same video extracts that you watched for these activities.
Note down your answers to these questions:
Assessing someone?s communication skills is always going to be difficult as different interpretations are always possible. It is not always easy to decide which interpretation is ‘true?. The point is to become as aware as possible about the messages that other people are sending out so that you can improve the likelihood of reasonably successful communication. Let?s see what Karen has to say about her communication skills:
I think I have learned how to read body language when I am speaking to people ? more observant. People don?t always say how they are feeling, so if you can read their body language it?s easier to pick up on things. I am probably more confident with my questioning. I am listening and taking in the messages I am receiving from people and also giving them a lot more opportunity to make their own choices.
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