Recipes for Disaster: an anarchist cookbook

The most common interstate launch pad is the on-ramp, because of its slower traffic, wide shoulders, and status as a semi-legal hitchhiking zone. If you can, be somewhere where drivers paused at a light will have time to look you over. Hitchhiking on the interstate is much more dangerous. It's also illegal.

If you're in Madison, Wisconsin and you're headed to Homer, Alaska, you'll be traveling west. Get to the western side of Madison. The further out you are the more likely you are to get people who are going far, not just to another part of the city. If you are stuck in tovm sometimes you can take a local bus to get near the highway. Let the bus driver know what you're up to and you'll probably get good advice. Pick a spot with a lot of traffic of the kind you think might pick you up.

Next to the road, you are face to face with every imaginable social prejudice, and every exception, too. How you want to play this is up to you, but keep in mind that the way you look, your entire presentation, is the only thing drivers have on which to base their decisions. Furthermore, in most scenarios the driver will have less than five seconds between noticing you and their last opportunity to hit the brakes. It's probably a good idea to be the cleanest cut version of yourself you feel comfortable being, to keep the pool of potential rides at its widest.

Eye contact is an important part of your presentation. Eyes communicate a lot. Look at drivers even when you can't see who is driving a car; they can probably see you. The energy you communicate in your expression, your bearing, and your attitude is crucial, far more important than your physical appearance. You should radiate friendly, non-threatening self-assurance; not only will this identify you as a safe, amiable traveling companion, it also will decrease the chance that predatory drivers, should there be any, will identify you as promising prey.

Extend Your Arm and Point Your Thumb to the Sky

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Relax. My personal experience is that I don't get picked up until I've been out long enough to settle in and stop being anxious. If I've been out there long enough to get to the I-hate-everybody stage, I have to get to the laughing-to-myself stage in order to get picked up.

Use a sign. This identifies you as a practical, experienced hitchhiker, as well as clarifying your needs. For long trips, bring a fat marker for making new signs. People are going fast, so make the sign big, even comically so. People will also be doing amateur handwriting analysis, so don't use that cool insane-asylum handwriting you developed in high school: use bold letters, write clearly, and spell correctly. Your sign should say the name of a well-known place. If you are going to a small town, choose a city nearby. If you are going clear across the country, choose a major city a half day's drive away. If need be, you can clear this up with the driver later. If your destination is simply "away," put something interesting on your sign: "adventure," "overseas," "AD 2015."

Always have your thumb out?it's the international signal for "I need a ride." Even if you have a sign, even if you have a twenty-foot-high flashing sign, stick out your thumb. The thumb shows initiative. Throughout history, the thumbs-up gesture has been used to express "yes," "life is good," and "let the poor guy Kve," all sentiments you want to persuade your driver to share.

Make a Decision

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Tens, hundreds, maybe thousands of people have driven by, summarily rejecting you and your cause, so when someone finally pulls over you'll be inchned to be quick and gracious about hopping in. Slow it down a notch?this is a crucial point in your journey. Ask yourself: Is the driver drunk.? Why is this person picking me up? How many people are in the car.? Do I feel safe? Ask the driver, "Where are you headed?" It's a reasonable question. The answer will tell if the ride is practical. It will also tell you something about the driver and give you one more moment to make your decision. A kindly driver won't

be annoyed by the small delay. If you don't feel safe, or if it's not a good ride, don't be afraid to decline. It's awkward, but, unlike a bad ride, it'll be over in a second. You can always explain that the driver isn't going far enough or close enough to your destination. When you get in, keep your bag within arm's reach, definitely not in the trunk.

You're cruising down the highway, feeling the surge of confidence and sense of accom- The Ride plishment that accompanies triumphs like hitchhUdng and dumpstering. It never gets old! Now what?

You have a job to do. You've joined the secret union of attention workers: bartenders, psychologists, waiters, and others whose job it is to listen.