by Crimethinc. Workers' Collective
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The aforementioned guidelines can help you maintain your overall health and well-being, and can bring you to a better understanding of your natural rhythms and cycles. At the same time, it can also be unhealthy to focus all your energy on preventing yourself from experiencing a breakdown.
People come undone sometimes; this is inevitable and natural. Decomposition is a vital process in the cycle of life: everything falls, returns to the soil, is broken down, and becomes a part of life's renewal. We are no different?^this pattern repeats itself over and over again throughout our lives.
This might sound absurd, but there's a certain skill to falling apart?it is possible to do so gracefully and with care. This is not to suggest that the process of unraveling can be painless or easy, or that you should be able to keep your life from becoming a mess when you're going through it; but there are ways to come undone without losing sight of your needs or those of others.
It is your responsibility first and foremost to be honest and real about what is going on with you. You may not know why you feel the way you do, but that isn't the most important question. What you can know, and must always try to acknowledge to yourself, is what you are feeling. Really try to be inside the feelings that you have. I'm not talking about developing a romantic attachment to craziness, inhibiting your ability and willingness to heal. I'm talking about eroding the resistance you have to feeling what you feel. I really believe it isn't depression itself that v«:ecks people's lives, but rather their responses to it: their fear of it, their unwillingness to deal with it and the problems it creates. Be honest v^th yourself.
The second task is to reach out to others. You may have already worked out an agreement with your trusted friends or housemates that they will act as support people for you when a situation like this arises. It is crucial that you have more than one person supporting you, especially if you are living with a romantic partner. It can be easy to develop patterns of insularity and dependence with a partner when times get tough, and if you put the entire weight of your recovery on one companion it can destroy the relationship, romantic or not. This stuff is hard work for everyone involved; don't forget Mental Health that your supporters are going to need to support each other, too. 373
If you made lists of warning signs that you're not doing well and ways to help you feel better, these can be very helpful. When things are especially hard, it may be necessary for your supporters to be there for you around the clock. You must not refuse their help, even if it seems like they're making sacrifices for you?you'd do the same for them, wouldn't you?
It's just as vital that you be honest with your friends as it is that you be honest with yourself Let them know what you're experiencing, how you feel, and the way their actions make you feel. If they're being patronizing, let them know. They have made a commitment to support you, and any feedback you can give them will make the process easier for everyone. If you aren't able to talk, or if you really just need to be alone, try to express this to your supporters as best you can. Don't reproach yourself for not pulling your weight, or tell yourself you're being a bad friend. Forgive yourself?you haven't done anything wrong by feeling this way. You have to focus on getting through this, and that may be hard work enough.
The capitalist machine does not permit those inside it to break down, ever. If someone does, they are ejected from its ranks and excreted into a psych ward or a welfare line or some other prison. As anarchists, we should be working to create a world in which people are allowed to fall apart when they need to. If you are in a situation in which you are falling apart and you feel you are being emotionally neglected or shut off by the people who are supposed to be your supporters, if you have made it clear that you're going through something really serious and they are still not giving you the support you need, look for it somewhere else as soon as you can. You might want to stay at a friend's house or with family for a while until you have built up your strength a little. If you remain in a bad situation when you are experiencing a breakdov«i, it can prolong Mental Health ^^^ process and worsen the pain. You owe it to yotirself to get through this smoothly 374 and without guilt or resentment.
