Recipes for Disaster: an anarchist cookbook

Prisoners and guards have an extremely complex and bizarre relationship. Watch and learn from the subtle and not-so-subtle ways that inmates have of undermining a guard's authority just enough to get what they want or need, but not quite enough to get their heads kicked in. Be extremely cautious and judicious about doing so yourself, though, especially when you are new and especially if you are not perceived as being a part of the incarcerated class, which is given some leeway to mouth off. Just because the guy next to you can get away with banging a cup on the floor outside his cell and going, "TURNKEY! HOW 'BOUT YOU GET ME SOME FUCKIN' WATER! DAMN!" doesn't necessarily mean that you can.

Jail is Catch-22 in all sorts of ways. For one thing, the richer and whiter you are, the more lenient the court system is with you, but the harder the other prisoners are on you. Where you fit in will depend on the color of your skin, how you carry yourself, and how you talk. Regardless, you have got to come correct. You need to be able to explain yourself, simply and succinctly, in a way that your listener can relate to. Being able to do this well will do more to enhance your quality of life in jail than just about anything else. Do not act all indignant or incessantly proclaim your innocence. Do not gripe and complain. Somebody has got it worse than you, everyone has gotten a raw deal, and nobody wants to hear your sob story.

You wiU be amazed at the utter lack of security culture among many inmates. You will hear all about the armed robberies that your cellmate got away with, how he's got this big plan to get a shit-ton of crank from his man in Chicago, and how there are bodies on the gun in the shoebox under the bed at his grandma's house and he sure hopes the DA doesn't put the pieces together before his boy Carlos can swing by there to scoop it up. Most of this is pure gas, of course, but some of it is probably true. For god's sake, do not take part in this sort of fooHshness. If the state wants you badly enough, they can always lean on somebody around you to see if you have been talking. If you have been, you have done their job for them, and you will hear about it in court. You can say what you are being charged with?^that's already on the record?but at this point not much else. You can talk about your politics if you want, but not your case.

It varies somewhat from state to state, but within about ten days of your arrest you should be given a preliminary hearing. This is a test of the charges against you. The prosecutor must present evidence and witnesses that prove that a crime has been committed and that there is probable cause to beHeve that you committed it. This is a much lower legal threshold than the one they have to cross to get a conviction, which is proof "beyond a reasonable doubt." This is a very important hearing, because it will probably be your only chance to see and hear some portion of the testimony and evidence that the state intends to use against you at trial. You do not have to testify or present any witnesses or evidence at this hearing, and generally you will not want to, because to do so would simply give the prosecutor the opportunity to hear your side of the story and prepare to refute it. If the judge finds the existence of probable cause?and they usually do?then you will be formally indicted on the charge or charges, and a trial date will be set.

Do your time; don't let it do you. Read, write, exercise, meditate, do whatever you need to do to stay focused and positive. Try not to watch TV. The worid you are in is to- s^ri^/wiig a Felony Trial tally fucked up, but it's not like all of the natural impulses toward mutual aid have been 537

completely smothered out of all of its inhabitants, either. You will start to see some of the really intense ways that inmates do have of looking out for each other. Your cellmate Rico will be sticking a paper clip into the wall socket to get a spark to light a blunt, and you will see that bastard CO. Parker coming just in time to warn him so that he can slip it under his mattress right before the pig comes barging in, and after Parker has left Rico will say "good looking out, good looking out," which basically means "you and I are in a bad position here and we've got to do what we can to help each other make it through; you just did your part and I appreciate it." You can even learn something from the guys with their arms around each other on Sunday talking about the valley of the shadow of death, or from the Muslims bowing to Mecca and reciting the morning prayers. I am no fan of organized religion, but I know what they are talking about, and why