Recipes for Disaster: an anarchist cookbook

For best results, do this during business hours; it really is easy to get away with. The fry vats and flat-top grills start cooling off immediately, but it vnll take up to fifteen minutes for employees to notice. Unless this is the establishment's fourth or fifth "emergency shut-off," they won't know what the hell is happening until you are long gone. The repair truck wUl be called in. An hour later, long after the lunch rush, the gas technician will charge them a hundred bucks for turning a valve back on and relighting the pilots. By making his services indispensable, you're "creating jobs," as the politicians say?now that's trickle-down economics!

To supersize that shut-off, bring a padlock of your own. When you turn the valve off, two metal holes, one on the pipe and one on the tab, will line up. Pass a padlock through the holes and snap it shut. This is how the gas company prevents you from turning it back on if you miss a few bills.

Another lifeline is the telephone. If a business does not have a telephone line, it caimot make Telephone or receive caUs?to the gas repair company, for instance. Many business systems utilize telecommunications for fax as well as internet services including credit card transactions.

To disable telephone hnes, you must find the telephone network interface box (TNI). The TNI is attached to the wall around back, near other utilities. The TNI is usually about the size of a shoebox; it probably bears the name of the local telephone company. The boxes open easily to allow technicians quick access. TNIs vary from area to area, but most can be opened with a screwdriver, needle-nose pliers, or a socket wrench. If the box has a screw keeping it closed, use a screwdriver. If the box has a hexagonal nut, use the correct socket wrench (often 9mm or 22mm), or simply turn the nut with pliers or an utilities adjustable wrench. Once inside the box, you may see a few things: 587

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- Sets of threaded terminals with thin colored wires connected to them

- Standard-looking telephone jacks, identical to the wall jacks inside your house

- Both: terminals on one side, jacks on the other. This is the most common setup in boxes found on residences. The two sections are usually divided. In this case, the terminals are accessible by removing a screw, but you must remove a hexagonal pin to access the jack section.

No matter what you find, your job is easy. Simply pvdl, cut, smash, or otherwise disable the telephone lines, terminals, and jacks.

If you want to disable the lines but spare telephone technicians some hassle, simply disconnect the wires without damaging them. If they have terminals, you may have to use a screwdriver or pliers to loosen the wires. If they have telephone jacks, you can simply unplug them.

You can slow the repair process by doing damage to the components. If this suits your goals, try to remove as much wire as possible?^if you simply cut the wires, the telephone company will be able to splice them in a matter of minutes, but if you pull a whole section of the line out, they will have to dig to run a new line. To do this, locate the wires that come into the box from the ground. Wrap these wires around your gloved hand and yank good and hard until they break. Leave a small padlock on the box when you finish as an extra barrier to their getting things running again.

A few things of note: Sometimes the phone company locks the boxes with padlocks to prevent tampering. Use bolt cutters on these locks. The boxes are generally made of plastic, so if you are without cutters, use a lever to pry the box open.

Telephone lines carry a very small amount of electrical current, and are relatively safe

ijijjjfig^ to touch. Their current increases when the phone is ringing, but if you do your deed

588 during off hours, this shouldn't be an issue. If you are concerned, wear gloves and rub-

ber boots. Use wire cutters with plastic grips on the handles. Don't fret, though: our secret agents have played with TNIs for years and have yet to receive a shock.

It has been rumored that some alarm systems are set to trigger if their telephone connection is cut. There is very little that can be done about this. In most cases, security will not be this sophisticated, but just to be sure, you may want to open the TNI box, do anything else you were planning to do, and puU the lines as you are leaving. According to our research, these types of alarm systems are not found on restaurants.