Recipes for Disaster: an anarchist cookbook

Regardless of your approach, there are some general rules of thumb that can help to keep a bunch of bicyclists safe in car territory. You'll see a lot of dangerous, stupid driving in the course of the average bicycle parade. First, stay close together, so you present a mass rather than a string of individuals; the ones chiefly responsible for this are the bicyclists in the very front, who have to set a pace slow enough for the slowest of the others. The most impatient, impetuous cyclists tend to end up in front, so don't be shy about passing messages ("slow down! tighten up!") up to them from elsewhere in the mass. Don't let gaps that might tempt motorists open up anywhere. When there are two lanes of traffic, it's actually safer to block both, so you don't have a hne of cars whizzing carelessly by you on one side. The most level-headed riders should probably stay at the very back and sides of the mass, as this is where confrontations with moronic drivers can take place; don't engage in verbal sparring, don't act superior, let your self-assurance and obstructive presence be your revenge on insulting motorists. It's often best to ride through red lights en masse, so they don't break up your group or interfere vnXh your mission; while passing through an intersection, the aforesaid level-headed riders should pause at the sides of the mass, their bicycles and bodies blocking cars from driving into the others. Assuming you and your cohorts are proponents of public transportation, you may want to let city buses (not to mention ambulances) pass you, being careful to fill in the space behind them immediately so other cars don't attempt to charge through it. Finally, routes should be determined with the needs of all participants in mind: if they are too long or strenuous, or obscure enough to get people lost, they're no good.

You may want to make plans for breaking up (deliberately or not) and regrouping, g. ^1^ Parades Riders with cell phones can keep up with one another to organize this; alternatively, you 102 can designate in advance points at which to reconvene.

The police will inevitably demand that you tell them who is in charge; "no one" or "everyone" are tried and true answers, though you can also buy time if need be by saying you don't know but you'll try to find out, or promising to present their orders to the "central committee" to whom you all answer. If you have a regular ride and they start making things hard for you, surprise them with an unannounced ride to show who's boss. Don't let them intimidate you with fines or other legal harassment?if you know sympathetic lawyers, have them help you beat these in court; if you're more the disobedient type, ride in costume or incognito and don't stop to answer questions or receive tickets. You're not blocking traffic, you are traffic, right?

Another ridiculous oil war had started, just in time for our monthly bicycle ride. Owing to the lovely spring weather and the indignation of local radicals and?let's call a spade a spade?borderline liberals, we had a high turnout for our small college tovra: perhaps fifty bicyclists. We gathered at our usual spot in front of the post office; one of us had brought a banner ("no blood or oil"), which was jerry-rigged between two bicycles by means of somebody's shoelace. There were two police waiting at our convergence point, but somehow they lost tiack of us once we got going on our usual route; Critical Mass had a long history already in this town, and with police ticketing, legal struggles, positive and negative publicity, and the inexorable slide toward predictable routine already years behind us, they'd come to tolerate our fairly tame monthly rides.

This one was destined to be different, however. Some of us locals were determined that there be no business as usual while the war was on, and there were also some traveling kids in attendance, one of whom had a boombox slung over his handlebars blasting '80s metal, who were willing to take things further and had the advantage of not being known by local law enforcement.

Account

Bicycle Parades 103

As we moved, individual conversations took place about what our route should be. Near the customary halfway point of our ride, we all pulled into a parking lot, and someone called out the question. A couple of people suggested we head to the state highway, and after minimal deliberation we were off, one of us tooting a trumpet, others ringing bells.