Recipes for Disaster: an anarchist cookbook

Taheera called the police after Mark had threatened to take their five-month-old baby, Juan. There were bruises on her neck from a previous incident, and Mark was arrested. It had been Mark's idea to move to the city when Taheera was 3 months pregnant. Taheera started to go to a low-cost clinic for prenatal care, but stopped going when Mark accused her of sleeping with the doctor. The first time Mark hit her was after she made a Hst of baby names. He was jealous of the attention the baby was getting.

I am a social worker, and an agency referred her to me. When we first talked, Taheera kept looking behind her. I suggested she push her chair against the wall, and promised her that I would keep checking dovm the hallway for Mark (even though Mark was in jail and wasn't going to be coming).

She was scared of Mark and of what he might do to her and the baby, especially now that he had been arrested. Mark's job was their only source of income, and he might be fired if he didn't get out of jail soon. She had a lot of questions about the legal system and was curious to know if I had talked to other womyn who felt like she did. We talked about local groups and shelters that could help, but mostly I just listened. I gave her my

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Supporting Sutvivors of Domestic Violence 529

number and a 24-hour crisis number. Taheera chose to bail Mark out, using all their savings, but not to speak with him. The state had Mark sign a "no contact order" telling him he couldn't contact her or move back home, so he got an apartment upstairs from Taheera and made a point of bringing lots of "bitches" home so Taheera woidd see. Taheera didn't show up to court and the case was dropped.

Two weeks later, Taheera called and said that Mark was upstairs, Juan was asking for him, and that she was trying to resist going up to him. She missed him. I simply listened, and told her, as best I could, that her feelings were normal. She kept asking, "What's wrong with me?" I tried to refocus on Mark's problems. Taheera finally agreed to walk downtown and sign up for a support group that had childcare. But she never did, and instead went upstairs to Mark.

Eight months later, Taheera called firom a payphone. Mark had held a gun to her head because he was angry that they now lived together in the upstairs apartment but he still had to pay for the downstairs apartment. He cut the phone cord so she couldn't call out. Things had been okay for a while: Mark had let her get a job and was being a "good daddy" Taheera told me that she had left several times, but each time he had found her or threatened her family Taheera felt too tired to leave, and just wanted things to "stay sane."

Taheera decided to save up money We met for lunch one afternoon and made a list of what to do, which I kept so Mark wouldn't see it. I also gave her an old cell phone to call 911, which she hid in a cabinet. She got a separate bank account and started fiin-neling part of her paycheck into it. She told a neighbor what was happening and gave the neighbor a packed suitcase to keep for her. I researched Section 8 housing in her hometovm, and had the papers sent to my office. Taheera asked me to look up domestic violence resources in her hometown on my computer, because Mark made a point of Supporting Survivors of Domestic Violer^ce checking out which websites she had visited when he got home from work. Mark grew

530 suspicious, probably because Taheera seemed to be happier. Mark started calling her

work and hanging up, and kept this up until she was fired. He bought her a cell phone so he could call her repeatedly any time she was out. He started not letting her leave the house with Juan, so that she would have to come back. He took her car keys. Eight months before, Taheera might have given up, because Mark seemed to be catching on.

I don't know all the details, but one night Taheera got someone from her church to park outside the apartments and start shouting. Mark, easily annoyed, went out to shut them up, and she and Juan got their suitcases from the neighbors and left through a back door, where the church friend picked them up.

I don't know if Taheera's story is a success story, but it is a real story. Since then, Mark has found out where she lives and has gained visitation rights to Juan through a court. Mark has also assaulted her twice since she left, once running her and Juan off the road. Taheera, however, has broken her connection to Mark and broken the cycle of abuse. Sometimes I think about her friend from church and the neighbor, and wonder what would have happened without them.